Damaged
by torn28
Summary: 16 years later... she returns... but she's not alone... see what happens next...
1. Damaged

Damaged by Maggie Koerner

Step out of the car and enter a blacked-out state of mind  
My face is bloody and there are tears in my eyes  
And all I can think of is what's buried underneath  
Surely life grows under this concrete

Well my hands are sweaty as I pick my self up alone  
And I gather what's left of my pride and float towards my home  
Two days later and I'm still asleep  
Then life wakes me up with a badge on my sleeve

When will this be over  
And who is really to blame  
When can I start dreaming  
Make my dreams become wings and fly away

And I have covered every range of my emotions  
But I got more anger in me than all the waves of the ocean  
And I am trying to say the things to make you stay  
But I can't take back what he has taken from me

And healing has come so God damn painfully  
And now I refuse to let anyone get close to me  
Each flashback chills me to my every bone  
I'm damaged you see in case you want to go

When will this be over  
And who is really to blame  
And when can I start dreaming  
Make my dreams become wings and let me fly away

When will this be over  
And who is really to blame  
And when can I start dreaming  
Make my dreams become wings and let me fly away

This song is by one of the girls I went to summer camp with for several years. She is an amazing singer… please listen to her song…(well since for some reason i cant get the link to work if you go to myspace music and type in maggie koerner and click her profile you can listen to the song... sorry about that)


	2. Home?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the characters associated with it. I wish, but I don't. Enjoy, read, review... maybe i'll continue... i have another scene in my head and it should be pretty good if you want to see it... but i'm biased...**

That morning, waking up before the sun even rose, the two women were already at the airport. Boxes upon boxes packed and shipped. There was no telling what was going to welcome them when they got there, neither really cared either. Well, that was the lie they kept telling themselves.

Running away had always been a strong suit for them. But now, was it running away or returning…

As Erica sat in the buys waiting room after the long, early morning flight from Boston, she watched all the doctors and patients families. She'd seen more than her fair share of doctors and families, but never quite in this setting. Seattle Grace was nothing quite like she'd seen before. So sterile. So, not what her mother was now.

There was no telling how her mother was then, before she was born.

She continued to just watch the inhabitants of Seattle Grace, but she couldn't help but wonder…

As five o'clock rolled around, she decided to go to the cafeteria. With her sandwich on her tray, she went and sat down at one of the tables. Thinking about when her mother would get out of her meeting, she contemplated taking a cab back to their hotel and telling the receptionist to just tell her mom that she'd gone, but she thought better of it.

No sooner than she got up to throw away her food, her mother was walking toward her.

"Hey, I was just about to leave a note with the receptionist telling you I'd gone back to the hotel."

"Good thing you didn't. We're not going back to the hotel."

"What?"

"Well, you know I used to live here in Seattle," Meredith put her arm around her daughter, "and I used to have a house that I never sold. So we're going to stay at that house tonight."

"Okay if you say so. I hope I don't die from dust inhalation."

"You know you can't die from dust inhalation. Come on. Let's go."

And with that the two girls walked out of Seattle Grace and headed home, a place they never thought they'd find or realized they'd even found it yet.

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Back at the house, Meredith couldn't help but be amazed at her daughter. Cleaning and listening and dancing to the music she'd put on the radio, she looked so much like her father. Well, she was actually a perfect combination of the two. Erica had these incredible blue-green eyes, curly dirty blonde hair, her mother's small build, and her father's winning smile. As Meredith sipped on her glass of wine, she smiled. They'd been through a lot together over the past 16 years.

Then looking up, Erica glanced at her mother and smiled and continued cleaning the house they were going to live in. And all Meredith could think was, how great of a father Derek could have been.


	3. Questions

The next morning both Erica and Meredith sat in the kitchen drink coffee and reading the paper. There was this eerie silence between them; one that had never existed before. They both know what the other is thinking but neither is willing to speak the words.

Before long, the two are headed out the door to the hospital so Meredith can sign some papers and finalize the transfer to Seattle. The car ride is quiet, but they are both somewhat happy to finally be settled.

Once at the hospital Meredith goes to the chief's office and again, Erica is left to the massive waiting room.

But today, she's not alone. After about twenty minutes of sitting in the waiting room, Erica thinks out loud exasperatedly: "How long can it take to sign some papers?"

"Well, if you're not signing them, a pretty long time."

When Erica turned around, she was met with the bluest set of eyes she'd ever seen. The man had the most amazing hair too.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry I was just kind of thinking out loud. Sorry if I interrupted whatever it was you were doing. I'm an idiot."

"Okay first off its fine. Are you waiting for a relative to get discharged or something?"

"Oh no, I'm waiting for my mom. She's going to start working here. Again, actually. She's just signing some papers."

"Oh, well, Hi, I'm Derek Shepherd. You can call me Derek.

"Well, Derek, I'm Erica. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

Derek didn't know what It was about this girl, but he felt as though he'd met her before. He was determined to figure this out. Who at the hospital had left and had a kid?

"Where are you from, Erica?"

"Um here and there. Look I get that you're trying to be nice but I'm sure you have a million other things to do. I'm fine just sitting here, waiting."

"Actually I don't have anything to do right now, plus you're all alone and I'd hate for you to wait for your mom by yourself so, where are you from?"

"Quite persistent. My mom will like you. Well, I was born in Boston. But my mom started doing pro bono cases in some third world countries when I was like 4. We've lived in Egypt, Ethiopia, and Cambodia for a while. We also went to Latin America for a while. Then when I was 13, we came back to the states and moved back to Boston."

"Well sounds like you're well traveled for a 17 year old."

"Actually I'm only 16 but thank you for telling me that, my mom likes to tell me I look like I'm twelve. Where are you from?"

"Me? I'm originally from New York, but I moved to Seattle about 17 years ago, and I've been here ever since."

"Why did you move if you'd lived your whole life in New York?"

"Now that's a story for another day."

"Ohh, touched a nerve huh?"

"(sighs) Yeah."

"Sorry. Sometimes I can be too nosy for my own good."

"No it's fine. So, why did your mom decide to move so much and do pro bono?"

In the most nonchalant voice Derek had ever heard, Erica came up with this: "Well, if you ask her, she'll tell you it's because it's what her mother would have hated, and that she wanted to help those who couldn't help themselves. Which is true on both accounts, but it's not the whole story. See, me and my mom have this tendency to run from our problems. And that's uh, well, it's not good technically. But the whole time we, and I mean she, were helping people she was really just running away from some guy, who just happens to be my father. I mean I've never met him, but I've heard stories about him, you know. Like what he looks like, how he acts, how I have his hair and his smile. I know he's a neurosurgeon, he was married before, and I'm pretty sure he was from New York too, but other than that, I don't know too much about him."

At all of this information Derek started putting pieces together, and he knew. He needed more information, he needed to know.

"So is this the first time you've been to Seattle?"

"Lord no. We've come every Christmas since I was old enough to remember. We always stay with Uncle Richard. Well, you know him as the chief. But we always stay with him and Cristina always comes and sees us on Christmas afternoon for dinner. Its small but its family without being family, you know?"

"Yeah I do. So, you and your mom are here every year for Christmas?"

"Yeah I mean, except one year when I had my appendix out, but we came for my birthday that year instead."

"Oh when's your birthday?"

"March 26. I just had mine actually. When's your birthday, Derek?"

"November 16."

"November, good month."

"Yeah, I like to think so." After a semi awkward pause Derek needed to know more about what Erica knew about her father, he had to know if Meredith was back. "So what else do you know about your father, sorry now I'm the nosy one."

"Ha, no it's fine. I know he has the most amazingly blue eyes. He loved my mom with all his heart and she still loves him whether or not she'd care to admit that. And my favorite part of the story about my father, is, from what I've heard, he and my mom have this look. Like they're the only two people in the world and nothing else exists. It's like a fairytale, that kind of love. I remember when I was younger and we'd be in all these different countries, my mom would tell me these stories about all the different things my father could've been; like a prince or a deep sea diver or something exotic even though I knew he was a surgeon. It didn't matter. He was just this part of my life that we'd imagine about. And I have no idea why I'm telling you this. I usually don't dump all of my thoughts on people. Wow, I never thought it would take this long for paper work. Don't you have to work? You're a surgeon after all. I should find my mom. Goodbye Derek, it was very nice to meet you."

And as Erica shook Derek's hand and turned away she came face to face with her mother who didn't even know she was there, Meredith was too busy staring at Derek.

"Derek…"

"Meredith."

And in that moment, Erica knew. The awkwardness that morning, why Derek had asked so many questions, what her mother had been running from. And all she did was walk toward the nurse's station and toward her mom's person, Cristina.


End file.
